The Gifts of True Intimacy

I haven’t been able to spend time out and about with my herd the past week due to the rainy days and other activities in my life.  As I was playing with my little dog today it hit me how much I am missing them.  Though I have always loved them dearly, they have become so much more a part of my life this summer on a deeper level some how.  Before, when time got in the way, I didn’t feel the longing that something was missing, that they were missing. I knew they would be there when I could get around to them. I always deeply wanted those relationships, but…it was secondary to all else. I feel a loss now, a longing,  when I don’t get to be with them.  It is much different now.  It feels as though my desire and love for my herd has turned to more of a “need”.  I need that equine connection.  I need to give and share affection with them.  I miss them, each one, with their individual little quirks and personalities.  I find myself wondering if they are thinking here we go again, our human herd member has disappeared once more.   Tomorrow, come rain or shine, I will be joining them.  I need those horse hugs and sweet hello’s.  I need them.

With our house pets, we don’t have those types of interruptions in our relationships, but with our beloved horses, we do, but only if we allow it.  The relationships with my herd has become more like that with my pets over the summer…very intimate, very close, very protective, very loving, very different, yet very respectful.  I have come to know each one of them like I have never known them before.  I only thought I knew them.  I have watched closely in their interactions with one another…a big eye opener there as to WHO they really are individually.  And as they came to trust and know me intimately, they have allowed me to see more and more of their beautiful souls and spirits. I see the horse games, the intellectual games, the games of wit, the games of power and hierarchy.  I have witnessed pure affection and caring with one another and complete fairness.   I have also seen jealousy regarding affectionate time with me.  This has become my primary focus as this is the core for anything else I might do with my horses in the future. Truly knowing them and they me.  This, in my opinion, first and foremost, is the most important element.

There is NOTHING mechanical in the relationships with my herd now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  They have given me the gift of really seeing….and I know there is so much more to be seen.