With our house pets, we don’t have those types of interruptions in our relationships, but with our beloved horses, we do, but only if we allow it.  The relationships with my herd has become more like that with my pets over the summer…very intimate, very close, very protective, very loving, very different, yet very respectful.  I have come to know each one of them like I have never known them before.  I only thought I knew them.  I have watched closely in their interactions with one another…a big eye opener there as to WHO they really are individually.  And as they came to trust and know me intimately, they have allowed me to see more and more of their beautiful souls and spirits. I see the horse games, the intellectual games, the games of wit, the games of power and hierarchy.  I have witnessed pure affection and caring with one another and complete fairness.   I have also seen jealousy regarding affectionate time with me.  This has become my primary focus as this is the core for anything else I might do with my horses in the future. Truly knowing them and they me.  This, in my opinion, first and foremost, is the most important element.

There is NOTHING mechanical in the relationships with my herd now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  They have given me the gift of really seeing….and I know there is so much more to be seen.

Life got busy….and it had been a couple of weeks that I had not been able to spend any time with Amber or the herd.  As the old cliché’ goes….absence makes the heart grow fonder as is visible in this video.  While Rosie chose not to join us today as we mediated and hung out together, all three greeted me with great big equine hello’s.   Amber didn’t want to leave my side and as you will see, the normally evasive Lady was anything but.  I was sitting, and both ended up hovering over my head and asking for rubs.  In fact, though I did not capture it on video, Lady even gave me a few head and back massages.  It was an amazing experience.  One that left me exceedingly relaxed and on top of the world as both the lead horse and the matron mare of the herd enthusiastically embraced me in their loving energy. To view the video, just click the link above or click the Camelot You Tube Tab at the top and find it on our channel.

Though the video is short, I hope you are able to experience a little bit of the bliss that I did.

My Deep, Complicated, but loveable Horse Amber.

I moved Amber back in with Rosie and Lady today, having decided to do most of Amber’s work primarily alone, and in the round pen, away from the herd.  We went on a very long trail ride this past weekend which helped us to get passed the “bump” in the road.  We reconnected as a team and things seemed just a little bit softer in the process.  I would speculate there has been growth, though it is not glaring as of yet.  I have come to realize due to Amber’s depth and our long established relationship, I need to be more patient.  I need to lower my expectations. Just as Amber is growing, so am I.   While it is easy to move forward in new endeavors with horses I have not so deeply bonded with and worked as closely with over the years, I have come to understand that is because our relationship is “new”.  We are not changing anything.  Change is always tough, not matter what species we are.

In the round pen with Amber today however, we companion walked without a halter, and I led her from behind with no issues, and no attitude.  What I have to do with her however is maintain a physical connection with my hand. That is what I discovered today.  I either place my hand on her back or her hip and I massaged her as we walked together.  She loves massages so she seemed to gradually start to like what we were doing together. When we finished those exercises,  I walked away from her in the round pen and clucked and with body language asked her to come to me.  She did. We ended on that note.  Now mind you, before we began our new journey together she would come to me.  Then that changed.  But….the connection is coming back and we are on track again, even with the new exercises.  I just have to adjust them to fit her and our relationship as we go along.

When I put her back in with the herd, she was noticeably jealous of Rosie whom I have become much more connected to through these exercises.  Rosie if you recall, whole heartedly participates.  I asked the whole herd to companion walk with my body language and as always, only Rosie immediately complied however today was different in that Amber decided to join us with in about five minutes and then moved Rosie away from me so that she was the only one walking with me. Very different from Amber choosing to simply watch Rosie and I from the barn, as she was doing a couple of weeks ago.   After a bit, I pressed for a little leading from behind.  Amber allowed me to do so off an on and then would move away.  But there was much more willingness.  I pressed on and walked away and stopped.  Amber was completely focused on me and I asked her to come to me, but she stood firm.  I could feel the energy of the connection and I was directing that energy at her whole heartedly….but still she stood looking at me, ears perked.  However, Lady, who never comes, did.  She stopped short however as Amber clearly sent her a message with her body language to do so.  I continued.  Then Rosie who was on the other side of Amber walked around and came to me.  I believe they were responding to the energy.  Amber reacted to Rosie and instantly came, again moving Rosie away from me, which I chose to allow.  I petted and rubbed on her for a bit and decided to say good-bye to go muck stalls.  As I was walking back to the barn I heard a swooshing sound and low and behold all three were galloping past me and beat me to the barn. I missed an opportunity to run with them.  There was clearly joy and fun in the air and one more thing.  Amber I am quite sure instigated that as the lead horse of the herd.  It communicated she didn’t want me to leave.  When I reached the barn all three were standing there waiting for me to arrive.  Amber’s actions further communicated her desire to spend more time with me as I went to work.

Amber stayed right by me, watching every move I made, interested in everything I did until I finished. She was choosing to just be with me through my work, every step of the way. Naturally, when I was done,  I didn’t want to leave her either so I just stayed for a while, standing outside the stall, with my head on hers.  She closed her eyes and I did too. Nothing but peace.  Nothing but quiet. To me, there is no better form of meditation and rejuvenation for one’s spirit. In those moments, our connection was so strong, we were “one” sharing peace.  Endorphins were running high!

My complicated but loveable horse.

Every horse is different.  From their personalities to the way they learn.  In my herd of three for example, Rosie has a “can do” happy go lucky, what’s next personality.  Lady has a “I don’t want to be bothered so I’ll just stand over here in the barn and watch attitude”.  Amber is in between.  She will usually choose to give the new exercise a try with some encouragement, but then decides to join Lady in the barn and watch me and Rosie.

Since my primary focus is on working with Amber this summer, I want Amber to do more than just audit the class.  At the heart of the summer exercises is “liberty”.  I want my horse to “choose” to do these things with me as this is a BIG part of the summer program.  However, I have come to realize in the current situation she just will not. I also began to notice that in allowing her to choose to “audit”  Rosie and I working together, and taking what I could get when I could get it from her, she began to treat me with less respect, little by little, day by day.  I was getting very frustrated and in truth, my feelings were hurt.  This was NOT after all the way it was “supposed” to be going.  She was “supposed” to “want” to choose liberty with me just like Rosie.  She obviously didn’t read the fine print in the text book.

It became very obvious when I took her out on halter for the first time since starting the program just how far we had regressed.  She is normally very light on the lead and very respectful.  So when she tried to run away with me holding the lead rope, I realized something was amiss.  I immediately asked her to lunge on the lead, and normally she calmly walks in a circle around me.  But on this day, she rared up when I asked her.  So I asked again.  Again she rared, clearly throwing a tantrum and screaming “NO”!  This continued for a while until she finally lunged at break neck speed!  No walking on this day.

I knew in that moment Amber needed to be placed in time out.   She was throwing a tantrum much like a two year old child, except this child weighs 1200 lbs.  I knew my mare needed to process through the events of our day as she always does, and so did I. So I moved her to a pasture all her own.  No herd.   I had been working to become part of the herd as lead mare, and while Rosie was certainly accepting of that, Amber was not.   It was obvious Amber was attempting to establish her dominance over me.   We were definitely in a power struggle.  She won the power struggle each time she chose to just “audit” and I was inadvertantly communicating to her that she was the dominate horse each time I allowed that to happen.

Amber is a thinking horse. She can be very complicated and gets her feelings hurt easily.  She is a ”lead” horse in the herd environment. Though choosing “liberty” in this way with Rosie worked perfectly, it did not with Amber.  She has been in her own pasture for a week now and we have continued our work.   For now, I am Amber’s only herd member.  For now, when we “work” on her choosing liberty with me, it is in a smaller space, although we start each session with the halter on, and then remove it.  She continues to test dominance boundaries though less and less. I am no longer allowing her to “audit” anything as she is the star of the show. We work until we get something right and end on that note.   We are becoming more “normal” again.  I still hang out with her as often as I can too…just sharing space with her…though we have not gotten back to where we first began yet.  I believe her feelings are hurt too, just as mine have been, though I haven’t yet figure out why.  Perhaps in her mind, I let her down as her “leader”.  Irregardless, the love is unconditional.  So now we work on rebuilding trust, establishing our positions with one another, and forgiveness.  In the end, I believe Amber and I will be stronger because of this bump in the road.  Working through problems together builds stronger relationships.

One new experience today I happily report………I was lunging Amber (no more raring!)  and I just thought the words “I am ready to tell her to Whoa” and she stopped. I did it a second time for good measure.  She stopped again.   A great confirmation about intentions and equine intuition in the moment.  That connection felt so good!

Amber's Drawing

Today when I went in to sit with my herd, Amber and Rosie were right there in my space as soon as I sat down.  The matriarch, Lady, was a few feet away, and just watched.  Both were particularly mouthy today, each licking an arm.  I had to move them out of my space quite a few times with each taking only one step back, waiting a few minutes, and then back at it again.  Today Rosie did something different though, she put her nose to mine and breathed in my breath, indicating intimacy.  That was very nice.  Rosie eventually wandered off to graze as did Lady.  That left me alone with Amber, which of course I was waiting for.

Amber did some of the usual, face to mine, muzzle to lips, but today she also lowered her head in front of me so that she wasn’t towering over me, much more intimate.  I stroked under her chin and long beautiful neck.  It was so soft. There seemed to be a lot of eye contact today as well.

That didn’t last long however as she started mouthing the bag I held in my lap.   I take it with me each time I go to sit in the pasture and I keep a notebook in it with a pen, just in case I feel the urge to write.  Today I didn’t.  She actually started grabbing the notebook with her teeth, through the bag.  So, I just went with it.  I pulled it out thinking she wanted me to write….so I sent out the question about what??….I got a tune….When I look in your eyes I get lost, I wrote those words as that was all I could remember of the song.  Then she positioned herself to the side and started mouthing the pen in my hand.  I once again went with it.  I held the bottom of the pen as I was afraid she would swallow it. She moved it around and applied pressure on the paper.  We did this for only about 5 minutes as she started applying so much pressure the pen almost cut through the paper, you can see this in the picture.  So I stopped the freestyle art in my lap and told her good job though I had no idea what in the heck it was, which I said to her!  I was laughing.  I told her none the less I was very proud of her first drawing.  I stayed for a little while longer not wanting to go in, just wishing I could live in the pasture with her today, but…alas, I am human and I had to leave!

What do you see in this drawing?  Do you see a message?  Do you see things from her environment?  Was she trying to communicate?  Or, do you just see horse play?  There are two angles to view it, the direction she was standing when she drew it which is sideways, and the drawing facing me as she drew it, which I have marked.  Comments requested!!!

On the first day of sitting in the pasture with the foal, Dog and Mademoiselle BelleQuest became friends as well.  I will upload a short video of that encounter to You Tube in the near future.

Amber

I decided today to just hang out with a few of my horses.  I needed a little R&R and I am getting ready to start a summer workshop with them.  I brought a chair into their pasture, my tablet to read, a cold drink, sunshades, a hat and one apple.  While there were three horses in this particular pasture, I knew one of them would certainly come pretty quickly and she loves fruit. Within about five minutes of finally getting settled, sure enough, my soul mate horse Amber came up from across the pasture.  I promptly gave her the apple and smiled.  I told her, Amber, you are my BHFF, best horse friend forever. Once she ate the apple she became interested first in what I was looking at, my Samsung tablet, then my hat, then tried to drink my diet Dr. Pepper. and finally my sunshades.  She removed my hat in fact.  Of course, she made me laugh.  Then she noticed I didn’t have on my normal “horse hooves” (boots, but shiny sandals).  She had to shine ‘em up a bit to show her love of pretty shoes, great minds think alike!

A few minutes later, Lady and Rosie joined us.  Lady is my oldest mare at 20.  Over the years, her most important job out here was that of brood mare though she was ridden sporadically in between, but I lost my connection to Lady.  She no longer would come up to me in the pasture and would walk away from me if I approached her.  Staying true to character, she walked up but past me in my chair and stopped… facing away.  I said hello to her and went back to fending Amber and now Rosie away from all my “toys”.  Both of those girls were so much in my space at this time that I moved my chair back, and again a second time and then it hit me. I am giving up my space to them….and in horse language, that means, I am saying you two are dominate.  Once I realized this I promptly got up, moved my chair back to its original location and used my hat to scoot them backwards.  Both became a little quieter and quit playing with my “toys” so much.  Rosie actually moved away in the corner and sulked for a bit.  Amber however, remained close to me, just not hovering over me as if I were her foal!  Then the special moments really began, she put her cheek next to mine, literally fur to skin, and would hold it there. She put her lips to mine.  Then from behind she would gently rest her head on top of mine. Anybody watching would have clearly seen a lot of affection going on, from horse to human.  Dog, was right by my side.  He is very comfortable with Amber as I do a lot with her and he is ALWAYS by my side.  He’s even gone as far as to lick her muzzle before, clearly an example of species to species affection.  (As a side note, over the years I observed Amber first taking a leap of faith by showing extreme trust towards Dog and then Dog returning same. Amber initiated their relationship.)  However, it appears to be deepening even more now.

Suddenly Lady walked up, very near to me.  I sat quietly.  She was taking it all in.  Rosie came back in too.  Rosie decided she wants to have a little fun with dog so she pinned her ears slighty back and proceeded to herd dog away from and out of the picture.   Lady came in closer, turned to look at Rosie with her ears slighty back, her message clearly being, don’t do that.  Dog then circled around and came to sit on the other side of me.  Rosie started to circle around but before she reached dog, Lady stepped in between dog and Rosie, completely shielding him as she would a foal, head down, placing her muzzle on his back.  And of course since dog is next to me, Lady is next to me, in fact, almost touching me.  Rosie gives it up.  I reach out and start stroking Lady’s legs, then she turns her head to me, and I rub her face and ears and gently caress her eye.  I knew just that quick, Lady had made a decision to re-connect and let me know first by protecting my faithful companion, dog, and including him as part of our little herd.  From that point forward, she inched closer and closer, definitely in my space, but not in the way Amber and Rosie were, in a much quieter way.  I felt she was communicating that in this moment, the stale mate was over and that she wished to connect and reaffirm our relationship.   What I clearly saw was that because I gave Lady the opportunity to make the decision on her own, to re-connect with me and didn’t try to force it, I in essence gave her respect as an intelligent, thinking being with feelings, intelligent enough to choose and in return, she honored me in a great and giving way that I could not have forced or mechanically generated through training.  It was simply natural and much more than I would have every thought to even ask for or dream of.

After about an hour of sitting and just being with those girls and dog, I decided to take a walk in the pasture to see if they would follow.  Rosie  was immediately behind me, along with dog. Rosie just ignored dog at this point.  Lady and Amber dallied a bit in order to knock the chair over before following.  Once that fun task was complete, they galloped out to join us. Once again, Lady came right up to me, so close, her stomach was touching my arm and just stood there for a few moments, clearing communicating a desire for affection and closeness, nothing more, nothing less.  I was just in awe based on the past few years of her “stay away from me” behavior.  The horses went on to graze as I stood there with them when suddenly, though the sun was shining, rain drops started falling, nothing heavy, but…I went under a shed that is in the pasture, with Lady and Rosie moving exactly at the same time I did, up under the shed.  Amber….who is my trail horse and whom I have always said is my horse soul mate, just stayed in the pasture grazing, though near by.  As I thought about this in hind sight, it was very obvious, what occurred there was that both Rosie and Lady gave me the honor of lead horse in that moment, as, simply put, they followed my lead.  Before I left, I placed my hat on Lady for a moment, and then Amber since she kept pulling it off my head earlier.  She seemed to love it and grazed away in it.  I finally asked if I could please have it back!  She obliged.

From an emotional stand point, within 5 minutes of being in that pasture I was smiling and laughing.  For two hours, I thought of nothing else but what I was doing with them and just enjoying their company.  It brought about a total break from life’s problems and issues as I became one with them in their world.  I found myself in a state of bliss.  That is in part, one of the many gifts horses bring humanity and how the human spirit naturally responds.  I would speculate this elevated state of joy promotes healing on both the outside and inside of man.  On this day, I didn’t ask them to join me in my world…I joined them in theirs with the mind-set that today, I am one of them.  When I left that pasture my step was much lighter!